Confessions from the Massage Table

Huh. 

I didn't realize how much I was still holding onto that until we just talked about it; I must have needed to get the words out about what was going on during the time my discomfort started - because already, even before the massage, I'm beginning to feel less tension in my neck and shoulders - especially my left shoulder. 

I guess I shoved all those emotions down and went on doing the thing because that's what you're supposed to do, right?  - just suck it up and keep moving along, even though at the time it was causing my body pain. 

I didn't know how much this discomfort was connected to those bottled-up emotions, or how much it has affected my daily life and everyday life for the past three months, until right now in this conversation with you, Shannon. 

It's become apparent that I was holding onto all of that for no reason, but I didn't know it was for no reason. You've made me aware that holding onto something that wasn't under my control shifted my focus to something that wasn't mine to begin with, and how much power that shift in focus manifested in the physical discomfort I experienced. 

Wow. My body really does hold onto stuff if I let it. 

My client said these words at the beginning of our two-hour session the other day. At first, she skimmed over the physical issue she was experiencing (and had been experiencing) until I gently suggested a self-reflection question for her to think about. 

I asked her why she thought she was still experiencing the same physical issue. 

She was a bit uncomfortable with the question until I reminded her that part of our two-hour session (and why she was there) is to open up dialogue around any physical issue and see what (if any) part of that physical issue she'd want to release during the session.  

At first, her answer was a small dismissal of a simple 'I don't know, Shannon.' 

Then I guided her through a few more questions: what the situation was when her discomfort began, and, most importantly, how she felt during that time. 

As she spoke, I watched her body undergo many changes right before my eyes. First, she sat straight up in the chair, and her entire body tightened up. Then her face and eyes grew angry, and she began holding her breath, taking shallow, choppy breaths. Both her shoulders -especially her left - went straight up to her ears as though she inherited a pair of very heavy dangly earrings. 

After she got all her words, emotions, and feelings out, she became aware of just how much she was physically holding on, and that's when her entire face, body, and being began to relax, soften, and sink into the chair. And looking at me with her newfound realization and self-permission, she took a long, slow, deep breath and smiled in relief; she understood; she was finally able to let go. 

The body holds on to emotions you (consciously or unconsciously) stuff down. 

And then your body manifests those held emotions in specific areas of your body, as physical discomfort or pain, which can cause you discomfort for a short time or for an entire lifetime.

Sometimes, hearing yourself talk about and re-feeling those emotions before your massage with someone who's trained to hold space, guide, and listen can help liberate your mind so your body can free itself.