Sometimes, You Need to Let Your Mom Win.

 Sometimes, you need to let your mom win. 

What do I mean by that? 

Recently, I moved back to mom's having gone through a divorce, an in-the-rears house sale, and a large financial setback. 

Being fifty-two and independent for many years of my life, moving back home was something that I kicked and screamed about until the day came where someone bought my house and gave me thirty days to get out and find a new place. 

Thirty days you think might be a long time, yet when you have three animals, and your finances and credit are in the tank, there really is no option but to move back home, unless choosing to live in my car was some sort of a reality - which it not at all wasn't. 

So.

I sucked it up, sold 90% of everything I had, and without help from movers or anyone, moved into a small room in the back of mom's house, which is where I'm currently writing from - and am beyond grateful for - yet it's taken me a bit to get to a place where I can much more easily set my ego aside and let my mom win. 

Letting my mom win includes such things as having her feed my animals on the schedule that works for her. 

Cooking with certain utensils, pans, oils, and what not.  

Washing the dishes and not allowing them to sit in the drainer for more than five minutes. 

Realizing that mom likes to have the toilet seat down. 

Asking which foods are okay to eat in the fridge, because there is a system. 

Making sure to never touch the heat thermostat - ever. 

Don't use the coconut oil, keep the rug in the bathroom where it is, don't ask her to please turn the TV volume down, and the list of endless seemingly insignificant things goes on, and on, and on. 

In her mind, the only reason why I am here, and not in my car is because of her and no one else, so therefore it does not matter that I am an adult, have my own ways of doing things, my own thoughts, feelings, or emotions. 

In her mind, I am here, so everything that was my life, is now non-existent and her rules are her rules. 

There is no compromise. 

There is no talking it out. 

There is no anything. 

There is only one option if I want to get myself back on track. 

And that option is to let my mom win. 

Because any other option doesn't exist. 

So, even though it takes all of me to keep my mouth shut, I've been practicing something called 'being quiet and observant' while here in the presence of my mom and letting her win with her rules by doing my best to be humble, not say anything or argue. 

I've been taking her dog with my dogs for walks - which surprisingly she allows me to do and gives me time away to reflect on myself and my actions/reactions. 

And, most importantly, I've been secretly sending her healing energy and love - because if she knew I were doing that, she'd huff and puff and push me away more. 

Sometimes, you simply need to let your mom win. 

And maybe that's why I'm here, to heal both her and me.