The Day I Stopped Teaching Yoga

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It was a Sunday, and the 9 a.m. yoga class I was about to teach was about to begin in fifteen minutes; I could expect the first student to arrive in about five of those fifteen. 
It wasn't a special Sunday that I can remember. It was a Sunday in the first week of May, and the Sunday Ladies were about to arrive for their 90-minute class, looking forward to feeling awesome and rejuvenated, and then heading out in their cars to start their day, as I did each Sunday. 
And, even though it didn't feel like a special Sunday, little did I know what Spirit had in store for me during that class. It was indeed a special Sunday after all. 
It was the day I stopped teaching Yoga to discover my wants, needs, and inner yogi. 

About midway through the class, I scanned the group, watching for any signs of someone needing assistance, when a message came to me very clearly.
 
The message was: you need to reconnect with your Yoga as a student. You're teaching, not connecting, and the love you once had is no longer a passion.

Taken aback by the message, I stumbled over what I was about to teach next, and instead of continuing, guided the ladies into floor moves and an extra-long favorite savasana so I could begin to process the words I had just heard while teaching class. 
As I guided the Ladies down into relaxation, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to surrender to the peace of the room and the calm energy created by all of us in it.
 
Two questions arose. I silently asked and waited for an answer. 
Did I lose my passion for Yoga through teaching it so much? 
Was I the yogi I told myself I was, or was I just going through the motions as a teacher?

By the time Savasana was over, I knew the answer. I had lost my inner yogi connection, and it had been gone for a while. That Sunday was the day I was ready to hear and move forward with the message that Spirit wanted to give me. And as the Sunday Ladies and I were packing our things up, I stopped everyone before they left to tell them that that class was the final class of teaching Yoga for me and to thank them all for being such a great group every Sunday for over two years. And while it was a little sad, I was more looking forward to getting reacquainted with my yoga mat. 
And for the past sixteen years, I have done just that; I haven't taught a Yoga class since, nor do I desire to do so.    

At first, I thought I would miss teaching Yoga. 
I do not miss teaching Yoga.

What I didn't realize was how much I missed showing up for myself in ways that make my soul sing. I give daily gratitude to my purple jade yoga mat; you've stood the test of time and aren't showing any signs of going anywhere anytime soon.   

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