A few months ago, I moved back in with my Mom, her hubs Joe, and their dog Remmi. I have two dogs, a cat, and a life. Mom and I have clashed since the day we arrived. Of course, there was going to be a learning curve with all of us, animals included. And it's been rough. There have been many days when we didn't talk out loud, yet these underlying conversations were happening between us that anyone could sense.
Can you say Elephant in the Room?
I kept wondering if it would get better, and I kept asking Spirit for guidance to show me a more straightforward path because living the way we were was no way to live for either of us.
My question to Spirit was particular: Spirit, please show me how Mom sees things.
The words below are what Spirit showed me, and may inspire you.
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Yesterday, my Mom got all crazy about a hook in the wall. You see, in her mind, that hook that's been in the wall, in the same place, for over six years now, has all of a sudden become the biggest thing to worry over. The hook is loose. I don't like it. I don't remember putting that hook there in the first place. That hook has got to go. I really don't like it. Joe's not home right now, and I don't know where he keeps the other better hooks downstairs. He's always moving his workbench around, and I can never find anything. You gotta take the stuff off that hook, now okay, because it's loose and it's gonna cause a giant hole in the wall, geez, really, it's already starting to make a hole. What the frig, now I have to try to fix this thing? Ugh, that's not what I planned on doing today at all.
I listened as she went on about this innocent hook that has done nothing but simply be there to hang stuff on, who has now entered her brain state as MUST BE DONE NOW OR MY DAY WOULDN'T FUNCTION RIGHT territory. I saw her physical reaction to the criminal in question: her face reddened as she talked, her upper back got stiff, her breathing became quick, the tone of her voice slowly rose, and the sense of urgency to get that blasted damn-it-to-hell hook out of the wall went sky high. All in a matter of less than a minute or two.
Usually, my reaction to her in this situation would be to absorb her abrasive, energetic, and emotional stuff. I'd start to get angry, my body would begin to ache or hurt specifically on the left side, and I'd get moody and bitchy.
Yesterday, I did something different.
I listened to what was underneath.
As she continued, I sank into her energy and allowed the feeling of energetic abrasiveness to be there. I felt myself shift from where she was - highly intense - to calm, all by doing one thing: I told myself not to take anything she was saying personally and to focus on the message behind the words.
And, instead of responding to her words in my regular, previous irritated fashion, I focused on getting myself ready for work in a good mood, because, after listening to her and the underlying message, it seemed to me that the criminal hook in question was simply a cover for Mom to open up a conversation with me in her way. And I couldn't help but soften and smile against her abrasive nature. To let her know that I heard her (and to further the conversation), I made sure to tell her to leave a new hook on the table when she found one, and I'd install it.
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